Wednesday 24 February 2016

Critical Investigation Draft 2 Feedback

Self-assessed level/mark = 38
Teacher assessed level/mark = Level 4, 40

WWW: 
  • Good introduction; setting out main points well. Excellent use of embedded quotes. 
  • Good embedding of quotes and they are really good, it flows really nicely. Fluent and sophisticated ideas. Good use of research. 
  • Very good analysis and critical autonomy throughout both paragraphs.
  • Extensive explanation on social element
  • Good discussion of representation and stereotyping, good references to specific parts.
  • Detailed analysis and plenty of references. 
  • Perfect bibliography, everything is in the right place and order.
EBI: 
  • Improve expression - keep it clear and simple! Introduce your hypothesis on the first page - what's the main difference and why?
  • Some of the sentences are really long. Like the first and third paragraphs are 2 sentences.
  • Sentences are stretched to the max. Its very good but also time consuming for the examiner.
  • Add more historical context.
  • Link to news values briefly.
  • More use of theory
  • Nothing to improve for bibliography- (I will keep adding regardless)

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